Thank you so so much for this. What an insightful and grace-filled commentary on the current moment and how we arrived here. I have seen this same process of ongoing maturation in myself and my work. We must extend grace to each other, assuming, until proven otherwise, that we all share the goal of healing, health, and wholeness. I will share this with others. Again, thank you.
Thank you, thank you for writing this! My feelings about all this existed in this writing but I just didn’t know how to put it into words. Your analysis of things are often the words I’m looking for but don’t quite know how to formulate.
Excellent analysis of the problems all around, Andree. As I also live in the world of FDA failure to regulate vaccines, I think that you may also want to consider the corrupt state of that agency, and the likely decrease in ssri revenues that its private partners would suffer, as more of a driver than scientific integrity.
Really appreciate this thoughtful article. I was fervently on the MAPS bandwagon, and still am, mostly, but the negative aftermath of a session left me wary and searching (unsuccessfully) for real information on what might have happened. Hoping FDA decision is a silver lining bump-in-the-road, paving the way for more/better research.
Why the endorsement, Janet, may I ask, after a negative experience? I’d also like to know more about what was negative about the session. And I also understand if you don’t want to share. I’m a survivor who has decided (for now) against doing MDMA in the future precisely because of negative publicity + my own negative experiences with providers of ketamine (who will btw, offering MDMA in the near future. That thought terrifies me because of the providers seemly lack of competence and skill working with survivor population).
Hi Anna - great question! I've never done a session with a therapist/guide, so can't speak to the issues with providers. I had a support group of peers (many of them in health professions, but doing this for their own personal growth). About three years ago, over a year period, I did a half dozen MDMA/psilocybin (MAPS protocol) sessions on my own with powerful results (insights very different from those provided by talk therapy, a sense of calm and well-being). My main motivator was to help me get off anti-depressants, which it did. My negative experience was with MDMA only; I took the MAPS protocol dosage, which I've learned is too high without the ameliorating effects of the psilocybin. It felt like my neurotransmitters had been strafed, and instead of taking a day or two to replenish, it took months, leaving me completely flat emotionally, which was almost worse than feeling depressed. (5-HTP, time and a lot of yoga and walking helped.) Everyone is very different – our physical bodies, our reasons for seeking out this treatment, our levels of stress and resilience. It's smart to be very curious and cautious about starting down this path, amazing and beneficial as it can be. I think finding support – peers, therapists, research – that you trust is key. Keep looking, trust your instincts. Good luck.
Good day, Janet - Thank you for taking time to respond to my inquiry.
You clearly have a wealth of experience and insights. I commend your dedication and commitment to following part including your achievement in discontinuing SSRIs. I know that’s not easy as I’ve been through that journey as well. I would not personally be comfortable doing the work without the support of a psychotherapist given my history and I understand it works for other people. It’s amazing how people are able to harness their creative, resourceful and resilient capacities. I don’t know if that’s a cactus or an artichoke depicted in your profile photo. But it speaks volumes to me! We find places to grow and thrive where others would not. That is inspiring and offers a message of hope.
You said: “I took the MAPS protocol dosage, which I've learned is too high without the ameliorating effects of the psilocybin. It felt like my neurotransmitters had been strafed, and instead of taking a day or two to replenish, it took months, leaving me completely flat emotionally, which was almost worse than feeling depressed.”
That’s interesting to me as don’t know much about either MDMA and psilocybin. But, I also feel “Wow! I feel so sorry you went through that ordeal.” I know what it feels like to feel emotionally flat as well — not a fun way to experience the world. In my experience, I felt dead inside and out. Good to hear you were able to navigate that experience as well.
You’re right to say we’re all different. I discovered in my own journey that we’ve all got to walk our own walk (not necessarily alone without support) but no one can really walk it for you.
You also said: “I think finding support – peers, therapists, research – that you trust is key. Keep looking, trust your instincts. Good luck.”
Bravo, Andrew. Thanks for this thoughtful, heartfelt, and sober (!) reality-check.
I frequently say that psychiatry as a whole is still in its adolescence.
Thank you so so much for this. What an insightful and grace-filled commentary on the current moment and how we arrived here. I have seen this same process of ongoing maturation in myself and my work. We must extend grace to each other, assuming, until proven otherwise, that we all share the goal of healing, health, and wholeness. I will share this with others. Again, thank you.
Thank you, thank you for writing this! My feelings about all this existed in this writing but I just didn’t know how to put it into words. Your analysis of things are often the words I’m looking for but don’t quite know how to formulate.
You're welcome, Sharon! Who knew when we talked last year that things would get so complicated, so quickly, eh?
I never would have imagined! But, I find it exciting to watch it all unfold.
Excellent analysis of the problems all around, Andree. As I also live in the world of FDA failure to regulate vaccines, I think that you may also want to consider the corrupt state of that agency, and the likely decrease in ssri revenues that its private partners would suffer, as more of a driver than scientific integrity.
https://andrewpenn.substack.com/p/after-the-war-on-drugs-the-post-prohibition
Wonderful nuance.
Really appreciate this thoughtful article. I was fervently on the MAPS bandwagon, and still am, mostly, but the negative aftermath of a session left me wary and searching (unsuccessfully) for real information on what might have happened. Hoping FDA decision is a silver lining bump-in-the-road, paving the way for more/better research.
Why the endorsement, Janet, may I ask, after a negative experience? I’d also like to know more about what was negative about the session. And I also understand if you don’t want to share. I’m a survivor who has decided (for now) against doing MDMA in the future precisely because of negative publicity + my own negative experiences with providers of ketamine (who will btw, offering MDMA in the near future. That thought terrifies me because of the providers seemly lack of competence and skill working with survivor population).
Hi Anna - great question! I've never done a session with a therapist/guide, so can't speak to the issues with providers. I had a support group of peers (many of them in health professions, but doing this for their own personal growth). About three years ago, over a year period, I did a half dozen MDMA/psilocybin (MAPS protocol) sessions on my own with powerful results (insights very different from those provided by talk therapy, a sense of calm and well-being). My main motivator was to help me get off anti-depressants, which it did. My negative experience was with MDMA only; I took the MAPS protocol dosage, which I've learned is too high without the ameliorating effects of the psilocybin. It felt like my neurotransmitters had been strafed, and instead of taking a day or two to replenish, it took months, leaving me completely flat emotionally, which was almost worse than feeling depressed. (5-HTP, time and a lot of yoga and walking helped.) Everyone is very different – our physical bodies, our reasons for seeking out this treatment, our levels of stress and resilience. It's smart to be very curious and cautious about starting down this path, amazing and beneficial as it can be. I think finding support – peers, therapists, research – that you trust is key. Keep looking, trust your instincts. Good luck.
Good day, Janet - Thank you for taking time to respond to my inquiry.
You clearly have a wealth of experience and insights. I commend your dedication and commitment to following part including your achievement in discontinuing SSRIs. I know that’s not easy as I’ve been through that journey as well. I would not personally be comfortable doing the work without the support of a psychotherapist given my history and I understand it works for other people. It’s amazing how people are able to harness their creative, resourceful and resilient capacities. I don’t know if that’s a cactus or an artichoke depicted in your profile photo. But it speaks volumes to me! We find places to grow and thrive where others would not. That is inspiring and offers a message of hope.
You said: “I took the MAPS protocol dosage, which I've learned is too high without the ameliorating effects of the psilocybin. It felt like my neurotransmitters had been strafed, and instead of taking a day or two to replenish, it took months, leaving me completely flat emotionally, which was almost worse than feeling depressed.”
That’s interesting to me as don’t know much about either MDMA and psilocybin. But, I also feel “Wow! I feel so sorry you went through that ordeal.” I know what it feels like to feel emotionally flat as well — not a fun way to experience the world. In my experience, I felt dead inside and out. Good to hear you were able to navigate that experience as well.
You’re right to say we’re all different. I discovered in my own journey that we’ve all got to walk our own walk (not necessarily alone without support) but no one can really walk it for you.
You also said: “I think finding support – peers, therapists, research – that you trust is key. Keep looking, trust your instincts. Good luck.”
Thank you for your honesty and validation.
Hi Anna - pic is of a Joshua Tree bloom in bud phase...Thank you for finding such beautiful metaphor for it :)
👏👏👏